I, Chaos by Juanita Galea
I am what drives men to kill each other
I am the tainter of souls
I make you forget what it means to rest.
I dress you in the armour of desolation
With the sword of anguish on your side And the shield of hatred on the other.
I burn like pestilence in your mouth
I’m bitter like blood.
Chaos reigns triumphant, I always win.
It happened at once
Quick and swift
No time to feel
Submerged in peace, with no time to think.
No black abyss.
No blinding light.
I drowned in peace, in a violent peace which
weighed me down.
I couldn’t help but desire to drown
No noise or cries or machines I could hear
Not my heartbeat, raging with fear.
Peace took over, it bruised and beat my body It
took over me, made me subordinate to her
Peace controlled me. It stripped all that I had
Took my ability to feel, to say, to behave
It left my shell broken and untidy.
She adorned me with a ribbon, wrapping her gift tightly.
No one can prepare you for the kindness of peace
The love she provides, a promise of a new life.
She takes you into her loving arms and guides